Broken – Introducing Julie

What happens to a person when day after day, there is no good news? What about when the bleakness of that news removes all hope. Or when each day begins and ends with countless uncontrollable fears? How long can a person remain whole?

In March of 2020, the people of the United States began to realize that a full-blown pandemic was underway. Life-changing measures were taken at work, school, and home. People began to work from home or were laid off, schools quickly went online, masks were donned, and groceries were washed. The news was terrible. People were dying in droves in large cities such as New York City and Detroit. No one completely understood how Covid-19 was transmitted or how to treat it.

Still, some people could not stay home to stay safe. Essential workers! We considered them heroes. They were working on the frontline every day, providing services that kept the rest of us fed, secure, and well. They risked much during uncertain times.

Julie was considered an essential worker. During the early part of the pandemic, she worked long hours with responsibilities that shifted daily, sometimes even hourly. She was doing well with the changes until she began having direct contact with persons infected with Covid-19.

Fear crept into her heart and mind, and as the days and weeks passed, it became difficult to think, work, or breathe. Julie was broken. She tried to shake it off, but the physical and mental became too much. With much trepidation, she requested and was granted medical leave from work.

When I met Julie, she had been off work for over a month. She had not left the house during that time, nor did she bother getting dressed in “normal” clothes. Leaving the house created too much anxiety, and getting dressed just felt too hard.

Julie and I spoke for four hours about her experience. Her fear and anxiety were palpable at the beginning of our visit. After that, though, as we talked, Julie began to relax. At one point, I asked her what she missed most. Julie, blessed with the voice of an angel, has always sung in choirs or for special events. She replied that she missed singing for people.

And, so, I asked her to sing. Really, she asked? Really, I said.

After composing herself, she began to sing. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me. Tears streamed from her eyes as she sang, and we both openly wept when she finished. However, the song and the act of singing relieved Julie’s angst at a deeper level, and we continued to talk deeply.

After a bit, Julie looked at me and said. I think I feel good enough to get dressed. Do you mind if I do that? But, of course, I did not care. Fifteen minutes later, Julie appeared wearing a dress, a small amount of makeup, and hair that had been brushed and straightened. She was stunning. The stress and worry that she had worn so profoundly when I arrived were gone. This new Julie was the Julie I have known all my life.

In a Hollywood movie, Julie would have been cured of her mental and physical un-ease at this point. Of course, Julie continued to struggle with her mental health issues for several more months. However, when she returned to work, it was with confidence that she could resume her duties fully.

The pandemic has affected each of us deeply. The consequences of isolation, illness, and fear will impact all the generations having experienced it. Some of us will be just fine, but others will wear the scars from wounds received from the Covid-19 pandemic for a lifetime.

Julie felt deep shame that she needed and required help to regain her mental health. Yet, somehow, she found the courage to ask for time off and counseling. Should you find yourself in a similar situation as Julie, I urge you to seek counsel. The world is full of helpers. Please let someone help you.


A Time To Heal is a project that promotes peaceful and constructive conversations related to complex topics. Topics are related to the events of 2020. They include but are not limited to Covid-19, Essential Workers, Race, Racism, the LGBTQIA community about the recent supreme court ruling, and more.

Please Note: The purpose of A Time To Heal is to create a safe space to allow others to express their feelings and opinions. The opinions of those interviewed may not be the same as my own or the reader’s. If you choose to comment on a post, please do so respectfully.

Gail is the owner of Lakehouse Photo LLC and The Gratitude Project By Lakehouse Photo LLC. Learn more about Gail, The Gratitude Project, and her photography at the sites listed below.

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2021© Gail Howarth, Living At The Lakehouse, and Lakehouse Photo. This material’s unauthorized use or duplication without express and written permission from this blog’s author or owner is strictly prohibited. 

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